Monday May 16th was the four month anniversary of me “going mobile.” Or as my friend Meg so eloquently puts it, “being homeless.” In January, I gave up my apartment, put as much of my business online as I could, and have been living out of my suitcase since. I’ve been sleeping in different beds, tents, & couches. I’ve needed to carry all of my belongings, I’ve not had my own kitchen, I’ve spent more time in nature, and done more with my family & boyfriend. All of these things have taught me a lot about myself, what’s really important in life & what I believe in. Here are four life & mental health lessons from a Health Coach living out of her suitcase the past four months.
1) Two Monday’s ago I was sitting beside a pool in Austin, TX sending emails, and planning my next two destinations. I started thinking about seeing my boyfriend, and anticipating what it would be like to spend a week in a place that still has 6+ feet of snow. Next the anxiety started to creep in – should I go back to Chicago now or later, how I was going to make money for the rest of the summer, why didn’t I pack my winter boots…
Then it hit me. None of that was happening to me right now. In reality, I was spending my last day in Austin, beside a pool, in a place that I love and consider one of my “homes,” and I was not enjoying it. The future was consuming me.
There’s a dance between keeping your eye on your destination so you know where you want to go but also enjoying the beautiful scenery that is zipping past. I haven’t spent more than two weeks in any one location and it’s helped me be ultra present. It’s also helped me accept where I’m at rather than always needing to be in a different place. My growth and enjoyment don’t happen in the future or because of my destination. It happens because of what I decide to do now along the way and where I choose to put my focus. It truly is about the journey not the destination.
2) Think about the last time you took a trip. Along the way did you ever take a wrong turn, had to reverse your steps, back up, or try again? Yeah that’s happened a lot to me over the last four months.
As a recovering perfectionist, it’s easy to get frustrated and upset with myself for not doing it “right,” “the best” or having things not work out exactly how I imagined. For instance, Ryan’s new job told us, literally on our road trip to move him, that we couldn’t get into housing for another five days. I also found out I wasn’t allowed to stay with him four days before I was getting on a plane to go visit. On a separate occasion when we went to go hiking in Bend, OR, we drove 45 minutes to the trailhead just to find out the road was closed. Oh yeah and that time no one registered for my workshop in Austin.
It’s easy to fall into “how dare the universe not follow the plan I specifically laid out for me” or “why couldn’t I get it right the first time, I’m so stupid.” But it’s also the perfect opportunity to practice patience, persistence, confidence and refocus on what really matters.
Life is a practice. It takes a bit of practice to find your rhythm and know what’s best for you or how you can be your best. Take it from a recovering perfectionist and former professional dancer: you don’t have to be perfect. No one is. In fact, the more I embrace my mistakes, the better I get and the more compassionate people around me seem to be. We all fall on our butts, fail and lose. But it’s not how many times we fall, it’s whether or not we get back up again.
3) I was doing a coaching session a couple of weeks ago and the woman on the other end of the phone said, “I feel like I just need to be more organized.” I use to feel the same way. She’s a woman who’s running a million dollar revenue business, a devoted mom to several kids, passionate wife, and active yogi. That’s a lot to handle. For me, any time things felt chaotic, or I start to get a bit anxious, my default is to immediately go into organizing mode. Organizing my desk, organizing my suitcase, organizing my week, organizing my to do list, organizing anything to make me feel like I have more control. However, organization isn’t as important as being intentional with your priorities.
The most beautiful experiences in my life happened when I didn’t have it all figured out or planned. In fact, even when I did like I previously described, the universe always had something else in store. You can’t always plan but you can always be intentional and stay focused on what’s really important to you.
When Ryan and I couldn’t get into the housing, we ended up staying an extra day in BIG SUR which was one of the most magical places on our road trip. When the road was closed, we tried to hike up a snowy mountain with no marked trails and was rewarded with the most beautiful view and a fun sliding experience on our way down. Having no workshop lead to a delicious dinner with a good friend and because Ryan’s and my relationship and time together is a priority, the visiting/staying issue was resolved. When you stay focused on your priorities and what matters, the universe ends up delivering something even greater than you had planned.
4) Many people I’ve talked with congratulate me on my bravery, confidence and ability to leap into this travel and nomad lifestyle. I’ve also gotten weird looks, and comments “better now that you have nothing tying you down,” and “I wish I could do that.” Everyone seems to have their own opinion about me going mobile as well as the belief that I can do it because my circumstances work out better for me than it would if they were doing it. I’m here to tell you the grass is not always greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.
I gave up a lot when I left Chicago: wonderful supportive clients, a seven year perfect roommate, a beautiful home and garden, a closet full of many clothes and shoe choices, best friends within walking distance. My life was good, but I yearned for more.
Traveling North America and living out of my suitcase hasn’t all been seeing beautiful places, having dinners with faraway friends, and taking time off. There have been challenges and stressors. Things don’t always go according to plan, and rarely have I had a space of my own or one all to myself. The journey has been beautiful, freeing, and eye opening how simply I can live. If I had to do it over, I would choose to do this again.
None the less, the other side isn’t green & weed free because it’s this magical place. There will always be some sort of challenge and work. Be clear about what you can handle and what matters most, but of course you can always want more. If you want green grass, water it. More importantly decide if that’s what you really want, do all you can to make it green and even if it doesn’t turn green right away don’t give up!
All in all, accept and enjoy the journey you are on, fail and practice again, stay connected to your mission but don’t worry about the details, and never give up on making your own grass green.
